Favors Writing Tip

Journal Your Belief System

Cheating is arguably the precursor to partners choosing a different mate. People justify their reasons for cheating based upon perception. What they perceive their partner as not doing for them is worthy of a consideration to cheat in the relationship.

What people do not understand, however, is that cheating equals exit. When you cheat, you are saying to your partner that you want out of the relationship, even if you allocate as much effort to remaining in the relationship.

This could include utilizing benefit-provisioning mate retention strategies such as giving compliments and/or buying gifts to retain your partner. It could also include cost-inflicting mate retention strategies to retain your partner; these are defined as insults and sexual jealousy.

Cheating thus, is that cost-inflicting mate retention behavior that people often overlook because I believe that when people cheat, they are really bluffing. I have a video where I explore this idea. They are trying to get the person to do what they want, and they are using cheating as a facilitator. People also cheat because there is some insecurity or some unhappiness in their personal lives.

They think that cheating resolves whatever problem they are experiencing. Instead of addressing the issue directly, they step out of the bed of the core relationship, locate an affair partner and cheat with that person, and then return to the core relationship as if nothing ever happened or as if their decision has no consequence.

To people who cheat in this way, it is like stepping out to run by a convenience store or a burger joint to get something to eat and then returning home. They think it is as natural and simple as an everyday decision. They don’t envision the feelings they have as something long-term, but they still want the opportunity to seek happiness, albeit temporarily, elsewhere.

They are not the kinds of people who have adopted cheating as a lifestyle, as something that they will never give up. No, what they believe they are doing is merely something temporary. Even if they want to keep the opportunity, they also believe the feelings will pass.

The problem with this logic is that it initiates and perpetuates a belief system concerning cheating, using cheating to replace a mate for whatever reason and adopting cheating as a solution driver. Many people validate their belief system with cheating as something that they feel they must do.

These are people who cheat academically, professionally, and/or personally. Their life can’t work unless they are cheating, and cheating within different contexts is essentially skipping steps. But consequences are always at the end of the brick wall.

Therefore, journal your belief system about replacing a mate using cheating as a facilitator. Provide an example of a time when you were forced to replace a mate.

  • What was the context?
  • Why were you forced to mate switch?

Your choice to mate switch may not have anything to do with cheating. You might have decided that it was time to end a relationship with that person.

Regardless, some major issue precipitated the mate switch. Take some time to consider why, the impact, and your worldview today. Consider your belief system, whether it is new or sustains the old.

Visit http://www.reginayfavors.com for more tips.


Favors Writing Tip

Journal Your Romantic Hastiness

It is difficult to reflect on areas of romantic hastiness, especially considering that we believe in every relationship we encounter. The ways in which we believe in our relationships is through investment. We invest and/or pour into the relationship with resources, love, heart, body, and mind.

Why else would we be in a relationship if we are not going to take it seriously?

This is a question that needs serious consideration because we often hang onto relationships that do not serve us well, but we end relationships that can teach us something. Typically, the relationships that we ignore and push away are the ones that I believe can “grow us up.”

For example, we usually kick away the stable individual, i.e., the one who has his or her finances right, the one who has a stable home, the one who does not job hump, and the one who has a stable worldview. We don’t want those people. No!

We want the people we feel need us the most: the unstable. These are the people who do the opposite, especially when it comes to getting and maintaining a job, seeking and discovering a life purpose, and executing consistent stability. We want the people that we have to take care of and then complain about having to take care of them.

We want the lazy, the procrastinator, the double-minded, the jealous, the hasty, and the loser. I don’t mean loser from a negative viewpoint. I mean loser from a perspective of a person who starts something just to stop. The person is preoccupied with the habit of losing, and that person will start something just to quit it and then complain that no one is giving him or her a chance.

The more you hang around that person, the easier it becomes for you to get distracted, adopt their mentality, and enter your own state of losing and subsequently becoming a loser.

Therefore, journal your experiences with romantic hastiness. Think about a particular individual that you “took a chance” with and reflect on that relationship and your culpability. How were you hasty?

Visit http://www.reginayfavors.com for more tips.

Journal Your Setback

Journal Your Setback!

As we are forced to experience and endure recent events that have been devastating, this is a great time to consider how significant a setback can affect one’s plans, goals, dreams, life in general, and hope for moving forward.

If recent events do not do anything else, they encourage us to redeem the time, to self-reflect, and to reassess our purpose in life.

Time is very short, and even though that reads like a cliché, it is still, nonetheless, very true.

However, you are still responsible for tending to your goals, for making your life a priority, and for ensuring that you contribute in this world. Do not let recent events overshadow your purpose and what you know you must do going forward. Pray, rest, and move forward.

While you are doing these three things, journal also your setback, especially if you have been touched in any way by recent events, the deaths of children, and the chaos of war. Consider the following writing prompt.

Writing Prompt:

Provide an example of a time you were reaching towards a goal and encountered a setback.


1. What was the original goal?

2. What was the setback?

3. Did you ever complete the original goal?

4. How did you resolve the problem?

The most important aspect of overcoming a setback is to understand the original goal, whether it was intentional or optional.

You are under no obligation to complete an optional goal, but if your initial goal was to complete a certificate program for your job and you didn’t, then that is a goal you must return to because it is tied to a professional purpose.

Therefore, assess the short-term, medium-range, and long-term nature of your goals to determine how realistic and feasible they are and whether you possess the capacity and patience to complete the goal. The only way to overcome the setback is to understand the original goal.

Visit http://www.reginayfavors.com for more tips. Click the “Overcoming Setback Curriculum” tab.

Thank you for reading!

Regina Y. Favors, Owner/Operator

Regina Y. Favors Website

The vision of the site is to be the preferred online curriculum you need for life recovery.

Mind Your Business!

Mind Your Business!

Mind the business you know. You know yourself better than anyone. When you decide to write that book, poetry, film script, or self-help book, write from your perspective, from your own voice. Consider the following strategies:

Strategy #1: Create Characters

Think about your experiences. Break them down into component parts. Then give those experiences multiple names. Those experiences with a name become your characters within the book.

Strategy #2: Setting

Then think about the settings of your experiences. This will make it easier to attach a setting for each character. You attended school. You completed college. You worked on a job. These are environments from which you can glean to write the setting and add context. Add visuals.

Strategy #3: Life Activities

Think about your life activities. You got married. You had kids. You got sick. Then you got well. You can attach these different experiences to individual characters for your book and/or writing project. Your life matters. Therefore, make this a point in the book.

Strategy #4: Build a Narrative

Add conflict and resolution, and you have the making of a film project and/or novel. It is all about the story. If we do not buy into the story, we will not buy into the narrative or the book.

Strategy #5: Write What You Know

Regardless, write what you know by assessing your own life and turning individual experiences into characters and then further into a plot for a novel or book or even a self-help series.

Mind your own business.

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