Welcome to Understanding Relationship Failure Research Project, which is a multi-part audio series that reflects an audio literature review and synthesis of the larger topic of rebounding, rebound marrying, and overcoming rebound relationships, and also concepts such as mate switching, and mate preference.
BOOK TITLES
The following book titles are available on Amazon. Click the links to access the titles.
Case Books
The following book titles are available on Amazon.
Toxic Encounters: Why People Pursue Rebound Relationships, Part I
Toxic Encounters: Adult Attachment and the Problem with Rebounding, Part II
Toxic Encounters: Why You Should Go No Contact, Post-Rebounding, Part III
Toxic Encounters: When They See You As 7/8, A Case Study
Toxic Encounters: 5/6, 7/8, 9/10: Which One Has High Value? A Case Study
The titles run different pages and are available in Kindle, paperback, and hardcover formats. See the tab “Books” on this website for additional information.
RESEARCH PROJECT
Understanding Relationship Failure: The Research Project & Audio Series
Impetus
The impetus for this series began with writing the following books, which have been retitled as of late 2020:
- Toxic Encounters: Why People Pursue Rebound Relationships, A Handbook, Part I
- Toxic Encounters: Adult Attachment and the Problem with Rebounding, A Handbook, Part II
- Toxic Encounters: Why You Should Go No Contact, Post-Rebounding, A Handbook, Part III
The three (3) main handbooks for the series inform the audio content and serve as a foundation for subsequent and related books you can find on this website.
The three titles are available on Amazon.
Original Research Project Title
The original project title was When They Marry Someone Else: Rebound Relationship Series. This title limited the exploration to only those contexts in which a person pursued marriage or did not pursue marriage. The project needed further defining.
New Research Project Title
The new research project title is Understanding Relationship Failure: Rebound Relationship Series, which includes reasons. It utilizes the same initial audios and Power Point slides, but the title reflects a more comprehensive review of rebounding and rebound relationships and answers the question Why do relationships fail? The project is still ongoing.
Audio Literature Review
Understanding Relationship Failure Series is a continuation of the book series. The rebound relationship series is a multi-part audio series focusing on a target audience of 18 to 45, primarily female. The investigation into the topic has produced this audio literature review and topic synthesis.
Therefore, the project is not empirical, but it integrates empirical research. It is a literature review into the topic of rebound relationships, which further incorporates concepts on relational transgression (i.e., cheating and infidelity), personality theory, self-determination theory, grit and self-control studies, mate value, mate retention, mate replaceability, and mate switching.
Online Course
Research into this topic of rebound relationships has produced the audio series on why people mate switch and how such activities have contributed to mental and psychological issues with different goal adoptions.
For example, when people feel that they are losing ground in their romantic relationships, they will pursue a goal of becoming irreplaceable by cooking, cleaning more, giving more sex, and funding their respective partner’s dream.
However, becoming irreplaceable does not always lead to a productive end. The partner could still decide to marry someone else, subsequently resulting in a relationship failure.
With this in mind, the series produced an online course for purchase on Teachable.com. The course is titled Overcoming Rebound Relationships: Keys to Becoming Irreplaceable. However, the course is undergoing revision and development and will be available at a later date.
The Understanding Relationship Failure series is available for view below as well as on YouTube.
The full series will be available as a Power Point download at a later date.
Survey Instruments
The research project also produced survey instruments, which have not been implemented to date.
Favors 4-Item Rebound Relationship Status Scale
Favors 4-Item Rebound Relationship Expectation Scale
Favors 4-Item Rebound Relationship Preference Scale
Favors 5-Item Rebound Relationship High/Low Mate Value Scale
Favors 8-Item Rebound Relationship Big Five Personality Scale
Favors 7-Item Rebound Relationship & Adult Attachment Scale
The surveys developed from the literature review and audio lectures.
Further Directions
Because the initial goal for this project was to conduct a literature review, the next goal is to conduct empirical research. The series produced survey instruments available as a link under the “Life Coach” tab. The sample surveys and measures are also under this tab.
This project has been a learning experience, and I look forward to developing this topic further. Please review the abbreviated bibliography links at your convenience.
Abbreviated Bibliography: By Theme
Self-Perceived Mate Value
Arnocky, S. (2018). Self-perceived mate value, facial attractiveness, and mate preferences: Do desirable men want it all? Evolutionary Psychology, 1-8. Retrieved from Https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1474704918763271
Mate-Switching Hypothesis
Buss, D. M., Goetz, C., Duntley, J. D., Asao, K., & Conroy-Beam, D. (2017). The mate switching hypothesis. Psychology and Individual Differences, 104, 143-149. Retrieved from http://carigoetz.com/docs/PAID_MateSwitchingHypothesis.pdf
Mate Retention Inventory
Buss, D. M., Shackelford, T. K., & McKibbin, W. F. (2008). The mate retention inventory-short form (MRI-SF). Personality and Individual Differences, 44, 322-334. Retrieved from https://labs.la.utexas.edu/buss/files/2013/02/BussShack-MRI-SF-2008.pdf
Perceived Partner Uniqueness
Dillow, M. R., Afifi, W. A., & Matsunaga, M. (2011). Perceived partner uniqueness and communicative and behavioral transgression outcomes in romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 29, 28-51. Retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0265407511420191
Living with Sexual Boredom
Tunariu, A. D., & Reavey, P. (2003). Men in love: living with sexual boredom. Sexual and Relationship therapy, 18 (1), 63-94. Retrieved from https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/1468199031000061272?journalCode=csmt20
The Mate Value Scale
Edlund, J. E., & Sagarin, B. J. (2014). The mate value scale. Personality and Individual Differences, 64, 72-77. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/260801167_The_Mate_Value_Scale
Men’s Mate Value & Mate Retention
Miner, E. J., Starratt, V. G., Shackelford, T. K. (2009). It’s not all about her: Men’s mate value and mate retention. Psychology and Individual Differences, 47, 214-218. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/237423458_It’s_not_all_about_her_Men’s_mate_value_and_mate_retention
Becoming Irreplaceable
Murray, S. L.., Leder, S., MacGregor, J. C. D., Holmes, J. G., Pinkus, R. T., & Harris, B. (2009). Becoming irreplaceable: How comparisons to the partner’s alternatives differentially affect low and high self-esteem people. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 45, 1180-1191. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2783625/
Rebound Relationship Investigation
Brumbaugh, C. C., & Fraley, C. (2015). Too fast, too soon? An empirical investigation into rebound relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 32 (1), 99-118. Retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0265407514525086
Coping with Breakups
Shimek, C. & Bello, R. (2014). Coping with breakups: Rebound relationships and gender socialization. Switzerland: Multidisciplinary Digital Publishing Institute. Retrieved from http://www.mdpi.com/2076-0760/3/1/24
On the Rebound & Focusing on Someone New
Spielmann, S. S., MacDonald, G., & Wilson, A. E. (2009). On the rebound: focusing on someone new helps anxiously attached individuals let go of ex-partners. Society for Personality and Social Psychology, Inc., 35 (10), 1382-1394. Retrieved from https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/a7e5/6e2a9edcd28960620fd070e9f81354ab6581.pdf
What Predicts Romantic Satisfaction?
Conroy-Beam, D., Goetz, C. D., & Buss, D. M. (2016). What predicts romantic satisfaction and mate retention intensity: Mate preference fulfillment or mate value discrepancies. Evolution and Human behavior, 37, 440-448. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/301855883_What_Predicts_Romantic_Relationship_Satisfaction_and_Mate_Retention_Intensity_Mate_Preference_Fulfillment_or_Mate_Value_Discrepancies
Is She Really Going Out with Him?
Hoplock, L. B., Stinson, D. A., & Joordens, C. T. (2019). Is she really going out with him? Attractiveness exchange and commitment scripts for romantic relationships. Personality and Individual Differences, 139, 181-190. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S019188691830610X
Partner Similarity for the Insecure
Hudson, N. W., & Fraley, R. C. (2014). Partner similarity matters for the insecure: Attachment orientations moderate the association between similarity in partners’ personality traits and relationship satisfaction. Journal of Research in Personality, 53, 112-123. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656614001019?via%3Dihub
Mate Value Predicts Partner-Directed Insults
Miner, E. J. & Shackelford, T. K. (2008). Mate value of romantic partners predicts men’s partner-directed verbal insults. Personality and Individual Differences, 46 (2), 135-139. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886908003449
Take It or Leave for Something Better
Nelissen, R. M. A., van Someren, D. S. I., & Zeelenberg, M. (2009). Take it or leave it for something better? Responses to fair offers in ultimatum bargaining. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103109001358
Mating Market Dynamics
Regnerus, M. (2012). Mating market dynamics, sex-ratio imbalances, and their consequences. Springer Science, Business Media New York, 49, 500-505. Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12115-012-9592-2
He Said, She Said: Men’s Reports of Mate Value
Starratt, V. G., & Shackelford, T. K. (2012). He said, she said: Men’s reports of mate value and mate retention behaviors in intimate relationships. Personality and Individual Differences, 53, 459-462. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886912001857
AUDIO LESSONS
The following audio lessons are available on YouTube. The audios offer advice about understanding relationship failure and by extension why a romantic partner may choose to marry someone else.
Understanding Relationship Failure: Hastiness Matters (Reason #1)
Understanding Relationship Failure: Rebound Matters (Reason #2)
Understanding Relationship Failure: Goal Matters (Reason #3)
Understanding Relationship Failure: Mate Switching Matters (Reason #4)
Understanding Relationship Failure: Choice Matters (Reason #5)
Understanding Relationship Failure: Pre-Marriage Matters (Reason #6), Part I
Understanding Relationship Failure: Pre-Marriage Matters (Reason #6), Part II
Understanding Relationship Failure: Pre-Marriage Matters (Reason #6), Part III
Understanding Relationship Failure: Pre-Marriage Matters (Reason #6), Part IV
Understanding Relationship Failure: Mate Retention Matters (Reason #7)
Understanding Relationship Failure: Cheating Matters (Reason #8)
Understanding Relationship Failure: Procrastination Matters (Reason #9)
Understanding Relationship Failure: Social Identity Matters (Reason #10)
Understanding Relationship Failure: Preparation Matters (Part I)
Understanding Relationship Failure: Preparation Matters (Part II)
Understanding Relationship Failure: Preparation Matters (Part III)
BIBLIOGRAPHY
This is the complete bibliography of the Understanding Relationship Failure Series. It is subject to change and all links may not be available for view. These are the base sources. Additional sources may be added periodically.
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Arnocky, S. (2018). Self-perceived mate value, facial attractiveness, and mate preferences: Do desirable men want it all? Evolutionary Psychology, 1-8. Retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1474704918763271
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Buss, D. M., Goetz, C., Duntley, J. D., Asao, K., & Conroy-Beam, D. (2017). The mate switching hypothesis. Psychology and Individual Differences, 104, 143-149. Retrieved from http://carigoetz.com/docs/PAID_MateSwitchingHypothesis.pdf
Buss, D. M., Shackelford, T. K., & McKibbin, W. F. (2008). The mate retention inventory-short form (MRI-SF). Personality and Individual Differences, 44, 322-334. Retrieved from https://labs.la.utexas.edu/buss/files/2013/02/BussShack-MRI-SF-2008.pdf
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Conroy-Beam, D., Goetz, C. D., & Buss, D. M. (2016). What predicts romantic satisfaction and mate retention intensity: Mate preference fulfillment or mate value discrepancies. Evolution and Human behavior, 37, 440-448. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/301855883_What_Predicts_Romantic_Relationship_Satisfaction_and_Mate_Retention_Intensity_Mate_Preference_Fulfillment_or_Mate_Value_Discrepancies
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Dillow, M. R., Afifi, W. A., & Matsunaga, M. (2011). Perceived partner uniqueness and communicative and behavioral transgression outcomes in romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 29, 28-51. Retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0265407511420191
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Duckworth, A., & Gross, J. J. (2014). Self-control and grit: Related but separable determinants of success. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 23 (5), 319-325. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4737958/
Dweck, C. “Changing Our Mindset Chart.” Visual/Graph/PDF File, 8 Oct. 2015. https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ee/4b/d9/ee4bd915191043797bc54af6920504c1.jpg. Accessed 10 Jun. 2018.
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Hudson, N. W., & Fraley, R. C. (2014). Partner similarity matters for the insecure: Attachment orientations moderate the association between similarity in partners’ personality traits and relationship satisfaction. Journal of Research in Personality, 53, 112-123. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656614001019?via%3Dihub
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LaMorte, W. W. (2019). The transtheoretical model (stages of change). Boston University School of Public Health. Retrieved from http://sphweb.bumc.bu.edu/otlt/MPH-Modules/SB/BehavioralChangeTheories/BehavioralChangeTheories6.html
Mahadevan, N., Gregg, A. P., & Sedikides, C. (2019). Where I am and where I want to be: Perceptions of and aspirations for status and inclusion differentially predict psychological health. Personality and Individual Differences, 139, 170-174. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/328980185_Where_I_am_and_where_I_want_to_be_Perceptions_of_and_aspirations_for_status_and_inclusion_differentially_predict_psychological_health
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. New York: The Guilford Press.
Miner, E. J. & Shackelford, T. K. (2008). Mate value of romantic partners predicts men’s partner-directed verbal insults. Personality and Individual Differences, 46 (2), 135-139. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886908003449
Miner, E. J., Starratt, V. G., Shackelford, T. K. (2009). It’s not all about her: Men’s mate value and mate retention. Psychology and Individual Differences, 47, 214-218. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/237423458_It’s_not_all_about_her_Men’s_mate_value_and_mate_retention
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Murray, S. L.., Leder, S., MacGregor, J. C. D., Holmes, J. G., Pinkus, R. T., & Harris, B. (2009). Becoming irreplaceable: How comparisons to the partner’s alternatives differentially affect low and high self-esteem people. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 45, 1180-1191. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2783625/
Nelissen, R. M. A., van Someren, D. S. I., & Zeelenberg, M. (2009). Take it or leave it for something better? Responses to fair offers in ultimatum bargaining. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103109001358
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