Research

Welcome to Understanding Relationship Failure Research Project, which is a multi-part audio series that reflects an audio literature review and synthesis of the larger topic of rebounding, rebound marrying, and overcoming rebound relationships, and also concepts such as mate switching, and mate preference.

Published Works

The following book titles are available on Amazon. Click the links to access the titles.

Case Books

The following book titles are available on Amazon.

Toxic Encounters: Why People Pursue Rebound Relationships, Part I

Toxic Encounters: Adult Attachment and the Problem with Rebounding, Part II

Toxic Encounters: Why You Should Go No Contact, Post-Rebounding, Part III

Toxic Encounters: When They See You As 7/8, A Case Study

Toxic Encounters: 5/6, 7/8, 9/10: Which One Has High Value? A Case Study

The titles run different pages and are available in Kindle, paperback, and hardcover formats. See the tab “Books” on this website for additional information.

Research Project

Understanding Relationship Failure: The Research Project & Audio Series

Impetus

The impetus for this series began with writing the following books, which have been retitled as of late 2020:

Toxic Encounters: Why People Pursue Rebound Relationships, A Handbook, Part I
Toxic Encounters: Adult Attachment and the Problem with Rebounding, A Handbook, Part II
Toxic Encounters: Why You Should Go No Contact, Post-Rebounding, A Handbook, Part III

The three (3) main handbooks for the series inform the audio content and serve as a foundation for subsequent and related books you can find on this website.

The three titles are available on Amazon.

Original Research Project Title

The original project title was When They Marry Someone Else: Rebound Relationship Series. This title limited the exploration to only those contexts in which a person pursued marriage or did not pursue marriage. The project needed further defining.

New Research Project Title

The new research project title is Understanding Relationship Failure: Rebound Relationship Series, which includes reasons. It utilizes the same initial audios and Power Point slides, but the title reflects a more comprehensive review of rebounding and rebound relationships and answers the question Why do relationships fail? The project is still ongoing.

Audio Literature Review

Understanding Relationship Failure Series is a continuation of the book series. The rebound relationship series is a multi-part audio series focusing on a target audience of 18 to 45, primarily female. The investigation into the topic has produced this audio literature review and topic synthesis.

Therefore, the project is not empirical, but it integrates empirical research. It is a literature review into the topic of rebound relationships, which further incorporates concepts on relational transgression (i.e., cheating and infidelity), personality theory, self-determination theory, grit and self-control studies, mate value, mate retention, mate replaceability, and mate switching.

Online Course

Research into this topic of rebound relationships has produced the audio series on why people mate switch and how such activities have contributed to mental and psychological issues with different goal adoptions.

For example, when people feel that they are losing ground in their romantic relationships, they will pursue a goal of becoming irreplaceable by cooking, cleaning more, giving more sex, and funding their respective partner’s dream.

However, becoming irreplaceable does not always lead to a productive end. The partner could still decide to marry someone else, subsequently resulting in a relationship failure.

With this in mind, the series produced an online course for purchase on Teachable.com. The course is titled Overcoming Rebound Relationships: Keys to Becoming Irreplaceable. However, the course is undergoing revision and development and will be available at a later date.

The Understanding Relationship Failure series is available for view below as well as on YouTube.

The full series will be available as a Power Point download at a later date.

Survey Instruments

The research project also produced survey instruments, which have not been implemented to date.

Favors 4-Item Rebound Relationship Status Scale

book-idea-toxic-encounters-survey-instruments-favors-4-item-rebound-relationship-status-scale Download

Favors 4-Item Rebound Relationship Expectation Scale

book-idea-toxic-encounters-survey-instruments-favors-4-item-rebound-relationship-expectation-scale Download

Favors 4-Item Rebound Relationship Preference Scale

book-idea-toxic-encounters-survey-instruments-favors-4-item-rebound-relationship-preference-scale Download

Favors 5-Item Rebound Relationship High/Low Mate Value Scale

book-idea-toxic-encounters-survey-instruments-favors-5-item-rebound-relationship-high-low-value-scale Download

Favors 8-Item Rebound Relationship Big Five Personality Scale

book-idea-toxic-encounters-survey-instruments-favors-8-item-rebound-relationship-big-five-personality-scale Download

Favors 7-Item Rebound Relationship & Adult Attachment Scale

book-idea-toxic-encounters-survey-instruments-favors-7-item-rebound-relationship-5e0-adult-attachment-scale Download

The surveys developed from the literature review and audio lectures.

Further Directions

Because the initial goal for this project was to conduct a literature review, the next goal is to conduct empirical research. The series produced survey instruments available as a link under the “Life Coach” tab. The sample surveys and measures are also under this tab.

This project has been a learning experience, and I look forward to developing this topic further. Please review the abbreviated bibliography links at your convenience.

Abbreviated Bibliography: By Theme

Self-Perceived Mate Value

Arnocky, S. (2018). Self-perceived mate value, facial attractiveness, and mate preferences: Do desirable men want it all? Evolutionary Psychology, 1-8. Retrieved from Https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1474704918763271

Mate-Switching Hypothesis

Buss, D. M., Goetz, C., Duntley, J. D., Asao, K., & Conroy-Beam, D. (2017). The mate switching hypothesis. Psychology and Individual Differences, 104, 143-149. Retrieved from http://carigoetz.com/docs/PAID_MateSwitchingHypothesis.pdf

Mate Retention Inventory

Buss, D. M., Shackelford, T. K., & McKibbin, W. F. (2008). The mate retention inventory-short form (MRI-SF). Personality and Individual Differences, 44, 322-334. Retrieved from https://labs.la.utexas.edu/buss/files/2013/02/BussShack-MRI-SF-2008.pdf

Perceived Partner Uniqueness

Dillow, M. R., Afifi, W. A., & Matsunaga, M. (2011). Perceived partner uniqueness and communicative and behavioral transgression outcomes in romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. 29, 28-51. Retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/0265407511420191

Living with Sexual Boredom

Tunariu, A. D., & Reavey, P. (2003). Men in love: living with sexual boredom. Sexual and Relationship therapy, 18 (1), 63-94. Retrieved from https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/1468199031000061272?journalCode=csmt20

The Mate Value Scale

Edlund, J. E., & Sagarin, B. J. (2014). The mate value scale. Personality and Individual Differences, 64, 72-77. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/260801167_The_Mate_Value_Scale

Men’s Mate Value & Mate Retention

Miner, E. J., Starratt, V. G., Shackelford, T. K. (2009). It’s not all about her: Men’s mate value and mate retention. Psychology and Individual Differences, 47, 214-218. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/237423458_It’s_not_all_about_her_Men’s_mate_value_and_mate_retention

Becoming Irreplaceable

Murray, S. L.., Leder, S., MacGregor, J. C. D., Holmes, J. G., Pinkus, R. T., & Harris, B. (2009). Becoming irreplaceable: How comparisons to the partner’s alternatives differentially affect low and high self-esteem people. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, 45, 1180-1191. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2783625/

Rebound Relationship Investigation

Brumbaugh, C. C., & Fraley, C. (2015). Too fast, too soon? An empirical investigation into rebound relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 32 (1), 99-118. Retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/0265407514525086

Coping with Breakups

Shimek, C. & Bello, R. (2014). Coping with breakups: Rebound relationships and gender socialization. Switzerland: Multidisciplinary Digital Publishing Institute. Retrieved from http://www.mdpi.com/2076-0760/3/1/24

On the Rebound & Focusing on Someone New

Spielmann, S. S., MacDonald, G., & Wilson, A. E. (2009). On the rebound: focusing on someone new helps anxiously attached individuals let go of ex-partners. Society for Personality and Social Psychology, Inc., 35 (10), 1382-1394. Retrieved from https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/a7e5/6e2a9edcd28960620fd070e9f81354ab6581.pdf

What Predicts Romantic Satisfaction?

Conroy-Beam, D., Goetz, C. D., & Buss, D. M. (2016). What predicts romantic satisfaction and mate retention intensity: Mate preference fulfillment or mate value discrepancies. Evolution and Human behavior, 37, 440-448. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/301855883_What_Predicts_Romantic_Relationship_Satisfaction_and_Mate_Retention_Intensity_Mate_Preference_Fulfillment_or_Mate_Value_Discrepancies

Is She Really Going Out with Him?

Hoplock, L. B., Stinson, D. A., & Joordens, C. T. (2019). Is she really going out with him? Attractiveness exchange and commitment scripts for romantic relationships. Personality and Individual Differences, 139, 181-190. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S019188691830610X

Partner Similarity for the Insecure

Hudson, N. W., & Fraley, R. C. (2014). Partner similarity matters for the insecure: Attachment orientations moderate the association between similarity in partners’ personality traits and relationship satisfaction. Journal of Research in Personality, 53, 112-123. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0092656614001019?via%3Dihub

Mate Value Predicts Partner-Directed Insults

Miner, E. J. & Shackelford, T. K. (2008). Mate value of romantic partners predicts men’s partner-directed verbal insults. Personality and Individual Differences, 46 (2), 135-139. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886908003449

Take It or Leave for Something Better

Nelissen, R. M. A., van Someren, D. S. I., & Zeelenberg, M. (2009). Take it or leave it for something better? Responses to fair offers in ultimatum bargaining. Journal of Experimental Social Psychology. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0022103109001358

Mating Market Dynamics

Regnerus, M. (2012). Mating market dynamics, sex-ratio imbalances, and their consequences. Springer Science, Business Media New York, 49, 500-505. Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12115-012-9592-2

He Said, She Said: Men’s Reports of Mate Value

Starratt, V. G., & Shackelford, T. K. (2012). He said, she said: Men’s reports of mate value and mate retention behaviors in intimate relationships. Personality and Individual Differences, 53, 459-462. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886912001857

Audio Lessons

The following audio lessons are available on YouTube. The audios offer advice about understanding relationship failure and by extension why a romantic partner may choose to marry someone else.

Understanding Relationship Failure: Hastiness Matters (Reason #1)

Understanding Relationship Failure: Rebound Matters (Reason #2)

Understanding Relationship Failure: Goal Matters (Reason #3)

Understanding Relationship Failure: Mate Switching Matters (Reason #4)

Understanding Relationship Failure: Choice Matters (Reason #5)

Understanding Relationship Failure: Pre-Marriage Matters (Reason #6), Part I

Understanding Relationship Failure: Pre-Marriage Matters (Reason #6), Part II

Understanding Relationship Failure: Pre-Marriage Matters (Reason #6), Part III

Understanding Relationship Failure: Pre-Marriage Matters (Reason #6), Part IV

Understanding Relationship Failure: Mate Retention Matters (Reason #7)

Understanding Relationship Failure: Cheating Matters (Reason #8)

Understanding Relationship Failure: Procrastination Matters (Reason #9)

Understanding Relationship Failure: Social Identity Matters (Reason #10)

Understanding Relationship Failure: Preparation Matters (Part I)

Understanding Relationship Failure: Preparation Matters (Part II)

Understanding Relationship Failure: Preparation Matters (Part III)

Bibliography

This is the complete bibliography of the Understanding Relationship Failure Series. It is subject to change and all links may not be available for view. These are the base sources. Additional sources may be added periodically.

Abort73.com (n.d.). U.S. Abortion Statistics: Facts and figures relating to the frequency of abortion in the united states. Retrieved from https://abort73.com/abortion_facts/us_abortion_statistics/

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders 5th ed. Washington: American Psychiatric Publishing.

American Psychological Association. (2018). Stress in America: Generation Z. Stress in America™ Survey. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/stress/2018/stress-gen-z.pdf

Arnocky, S. (2018). Self-perceived mate value, facial attractiveness, and mate preferences: Do desirable men want it all? Evolutionary Psychology, 1-8. Retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/1474704918763271

Attenweiler, W. J., & Moore, D. (2006). Goal orientations: Two, three, or more factors? Educational and Psychological Measurement, 66 (2), 342-352. Retrieved from http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.1015.3418&rep=rep1&type=pdf

Barber, N. (2017, November 16). Sexual variety: women today have more control over their lives but less commitment from men. Psychology today. Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-human-beast/201711/sexual-variety

Berk, L. E. (2014). Development through the lifespan. Boston: Pearson.

Bethune, S., & Brownawell, A. (2015, February 4). American psychological association survey shows money stress weighing on american’s health nationwide. American Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2015/02/money-stress

Bible Gateway. (n.d.). Genesis 24. Retrieved from https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Genesis+24&version=NLT

Bible Gateway. (n.d.). Proverbs 18:22. Retrieved from https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+18%3A22&version=NLT

Burke, P. J., & Reitzes, D. C. (1981). The link between identity and role performance. Social Psychology Quarterly, 44 (2), 83-92. Retrieved from https://www.jstor.org/stable/3033704?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents

Business Dictionary. (n.d.). Gap analysis. Retrieved from http://www.businessdictionary.com/definition/gap-analysis.html

Cambridge Core. (n.d.). Contract law: 3-Offer and acceptance. Cambridge University Press. Retrieved from https://www.cambridge.org/core/books/contract-law/offer-and-acceptance/C768F5530D7449A7CEA3DFC188EAF688

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2018, November 19). CDCs abortion surveillance system faqs. CDC. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/data_stats/abortion.htm

Channell, C. E., & Crusius, T. W. (2013). Engaging Questions: A Guide to Writing. New York: McGraw-Hill.

Dickson, J. (2019, April 18). 5 simple reasons you should ditch employee service awards. Bonusly. Accessed 23 June 2019. https://blog.bonus.ly/5-simple-reasons-you-should-ditch-employee-service-awards

Drash, W. (2009, December 8). Beware cheaters: Your lover’s spouse can sue you. CNN. Retrieved from http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/12/08/cheating.spouses.lawsuits/index.html

Duckworth, A., & Gross, J. J. (2014). Self-control and grit: Related but separable determinants of success. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 23 (5), 319-325. Retrieved from https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4737958/

Dweck, C. “Changing Our Mindset Chart.” Visual/Graph/PDF File, 8 Oct. 2015. https://i.pinimg.com/originals/ee/4b/d9/ee4bd915191043797bc54af6920504c1.jpg. Accessed 10 Jun. 2018.

Dweck, D. (2007). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, How We Can Learn to Fulfill Our Potential. Ballantine Books.

Dweck, Carol. “Developing a Growth Mindset” by Carol Dweck. Stanford Alumni online video clip. YouTube. YouTube, 9 Oct. 2014. Retrieved from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiiEeMN7vbQ&t=131s. Accessed 23 June 2019.

Farberov, S. (2013, December 13). Jilted husband sues online infidelity service Ashley Madison for breaking up his marriage after his wife’s affair. Daily Mail. Retrieved from https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2523283/Ashley-Madison-lawsuit-sees-jilted-husband-sues-online-infidelity-service.html

Feist, J., Feist, G. J., & Roberts, T. (2013). Theories of Personality. (8th edition). New York: McGraw-Hill.

Freemen, W. (n.d.). How to avoid toxic women part 1: 49 red flags. Revolutionary Lifestyle Design. Retrieved from https://revolutionarylifestyledesign.com/avoid-toxic-women-50-red-flags/

Gere, J., Schimmack, U., Pinkus, R. T., & Lockwood, P. The effects of romantic partners’ goal congruence on affective well-being. Journal of Research in Personality, 45, 549-559. Retrieved from https://pdfs.semanticscholar.org/9019/048295ce12e6070867a56064d2ed37fa33a3.pdf

Glass, L. (2010). Toxic Men. Avon, MA: Adams Media.

Gomstyn, A., & Ferran, L. Wife’s $9M message to mistresses: Lay off. ABC News. Retrieved from https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Business/wife-wins-million-husbands-alleged-mistress/story?id=10177637

Guerrero, L. K., Anderson, P. A., & Afifi, W. A. (2007). Close encounters: Communication in relationships. 2ndedition. Los Angeles: Sage Publications.

Guillen, L. (n.d.). Can I sue the other woman for destroying my marriage? DivorceNet.com. Retrieved from https://www.divorcenet.com/resources/can-i-sue-other-woman-destroying-my-marriage.html

Guttmacher institute. (2018, January). Induced abortion in the united states: fact sheet.

Guttmacher Organization. Retrieved from https://www.guttmacher.org/fact-sheet/induced-abortion-united-states

Kaba, A. J. (2012). Black americans and interracial marriage: A focus on black women. Sociology Mind, 40(2), 407-427.

King James Bible Online. (n.d.). Hebrews 12:17. Retrieved from https://www.kingjamesbibleonline.org/Hebrews-12-17/

King James Bible Online. (n.d.). Matthew 9:17. Retrieved from https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+9%3A17&version=KJV

LaMorte, W. W. (2019). The transtheoretical model (stages of change). Boston University School of Public Health. Retrieved from http://sphweb.bumc.bu.edu/otlt/MPH-Modules/SB/BehavioralChangeTheories/BehavioralChangeTheories6.html

Mahadevan, N., Gregg, A. P., & Sedikides, C. (2019). Where I am and where I want to be: Perceptions of and aspirations for status and inclusion differentially predict psychological health. Personality and Individual Differences, 139, 170-174. Retrieved from https://www.researchgate.net/publication/328980185_Where_I_am_and_where_I_want_to_be_Perceptions_of_and_aspirations_for_status_and_inclusion_differentially_predict_psychological_health

Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2007). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change. New York: The Guilford Press.

Montoya, R. M. (2005). The environment’s influence on mate preferences. Sexualities, Evolution and Gender, 7 (2), 115-134.

Mooney, C. G. (2010). Theories of attachment: Introduction to Bowlby, Ainsworth, Gerber, Brazelton, Kennell, & Klaus. Minnesota: Red Leaf Press.

Nolo. (n.d.). Which states recognize common law marriage? Learn about common law marriages and find out what states recognize them. Retrieved from https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/free-books/living-together-book/chapter2-4.html

Phang, K. (2014, December 5). The indisputable case for dating more than one guy at a time. YourTango.com. Retrieved from https://www.yourtango.com/experts/katarina-phang/why-dating-rotation-actually-heightens-your-attractiveness

Pierce, S. L. (2012). The rebound effect: The use of short-term mating strategies after the dissolution of a significant, loving relationship. MA Thesis. Terre Haute: ISU.

Randolph, M. (n.d.). How an estate is settled if there’s no will: Intestate succession. Nolo.com. Retrieved from https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/how-estate-settled-if-theres-32442.html

Robinson, K. J., & Cameron, J. J. (2012). Self-esteem is a shared relationship source: Additive effects of dating partner’s self-esteem levels predict relationship quality. Journal of Research in Personality, 46, 227-230.

Savage, C. (2016, October 10). 13 signs that a woman is toxic. Return of Kings. Retrieved from http://www.returnofkings.com/97863/13-signs-that-a-woman-is-toxic

Sherman, R. A., Nave, C. S., & Funder, D. C. (2012). Properties of persons and situations related to overall and distinctive personality-behavior congruence. Journal of Research in Personality, 46, 87-101. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S009265661100167X

Spielmann, S. S., MacDonald, G., & Wilson, A. E. (2009). On the rebound: Focusing on someone new helps anxiously attached individuals let go of ex-partners. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 35, 1382-1394. Retrieved from https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0146167209341580

Starratt, V. G., Weekes-Shackelford, V., & Shackelford, T. K. (2017). Mate value both positively and negatively predicts intentions to commit an infidelity. Personality and Individual Differences, 104, 18-22. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886916308686

Stets, J. E., & Burke, P. J. (2000). Identity theory and social identity theory. Social Psychology Quarterly, 63 (3), 224-237. Retrieved from https://www.jstor.org/stable/2695870?seq=1#page_scan_tab_contents

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Team United. (2016, March 10). The negative effects of debt. United Federal Credit Union. Retrieved from https://unitedfcu.com/advice/the-negative-effects-of-debt

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Whyte, S., Brooks, R. C., Chan, H. F., & Torgler, B. (2019). Do certain personality traits provide a mating market competitive advantage? Sex, offspring & the big 5. Personality and Individual Differences, 139, 158-169. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886918306159

Wilbur, C. J., & Campbell, L. (2010). What do women want? An interactionist account of women’s mate preferences. Personality and individual differences, 49, 749-754. Retrieved from https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886910003235

Virginia Tech CPE. The stages of change. Virginia Tech Continuing and Professional Education. Retrieved from http://www.cpe.vt.edu/gttc/presentations/8eStagesofChange.pdf

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