Counterfeits take time, space, and energy. They look like the real thing, but as we understand counterfeits to be, they are not real. They have no substance. Their reality is imagined. They base their life plans off real people, who represent their hosts.
Counterfeits are symbolically like alien beings who need a host to survive and once they get what they need from an individual, they jump and latch onto another person, leaving the host drained of money, time, and energy.
This article briefly explores the role of counterfeits in romantic relationships and the lessons we need to learn to live in reality.
You lose a lot of money with counterfeits. You can’t seem to get your finances in order because the presence of the counterfeit demands duty and extreme loyalty. You are never truly loyal to yourself when you deal with a counterfeit. There is something in the person that makes you feel compelled to save him or her. You want to help counterfeits, steer them in the right direction, and be the source of their happiness even to your own detriment.
The counterfeit, thus, is that person who cannot stand on his or her own financial two feet. The person is like a toddler who pouts when he or she cannot get their own way. Toddlers whine and moan and accuse and adopt a strategy of silent treatment based on their understanding of silence. These toddlers then transition into adults with the same mentality and life objectives, which always include taking from someone else financially instead of creating a strategy to work and earn what they need for themselves.
Counterfeits struggle with adulthood. They are unwilling to put in the time and effort to manage their lives with dignity, integrity, foresight, vision, and general planning. You would never see a counterfeit conduct a self-assessment of their strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats.
The only strength they possess is manipulation and using it to get what they want. Their weakness is not being successful at manipulating their target to get what they want. They utilize manipulation as an opportunity to continue getting what they want. The threat to their existence is not being able to use manipulation to get what they want.
It is a simple assessment when you think about it because counterfeits are really clear about their objectives. They speak from their damaged souls as in “You owe a duty to me” or “You will never get someone like me” or “You’re a loser.” Whatever the language the counterfeit adopts is one that has a long-lasting impact on the host because the person is usually an empath, believing in the best of and for people and never assuming that someone would be so vile to be intentionally disruptive.
Counterfeits represent a disruption to order. They disrupt. They look into a person’s life, determine how to enter their life, gain a foothold, strangle whatever resources the person has, and essentially take ownership. You become their property. They are no different than a romantic partner adopting a dating rotation of men or women to meet their emotional, psychological, mental, companionship, and financial needs. For a counterfeit, you are a utility, a tool, a resource, and a point of contact.
The last point means that when counterfeits try to leave you for someone else, believing that the person will prove worthy in the end, and they discover that they have run into a counterfeit as well, then counterfeits usually return to the “house” that kept them fed, sheltered, and financially secured.
For a counterfeit, you will always be their primary point of contact. You are the person that the counterfeit calls when they are down, when they have left you for the umpteenth time, when they despise and exercise hostility towards you, when they pull you close to them so that they can continue using your resources, and when they are simply bored.
Counterfeits need action. They need the drama. They need the chaos. They need something or someone to jolt them back into life and living as frauds. Attaching themselves to a host makes it possible for them to live. It is similar to Neo in The Matrix. He has to hook up to a machine to live in another world. He can’t simply just exist and make his current world work for him.
He bases his decisions and life plans on existing in a world that could kill him and that is dangerous to his psyche. He would rather pitch a tent and live in chaos, although with skill to navigate it, than to live in a world that is certain and predictable. Neo ultimately lives in a fantasy land and is rather critical of reality.
The counterfeit holds the same ideology as Neo. Reality suggests that you must find and keep a job, get your own apartment, pay for your own apartment with your income and not money from other individuals, and manage your life with some level of predictability and certainty and stability even if you feel that it is boring. It is called being an adult, and being an adult should not be an option when you are an adult. You should not have a preference for being an adult when you are an adult. It should be a consciousness that you embrace. You are aware that you are an adult, and you respond accordingly.
Moving from consciousness to conscientiousness will require that you attend to the affairs of life. Sometimes life has its challenges. Sometimes life has its advantages. Regardless, it is life, and it is considered a gift that you should embrace, navigate, manage, mentor from, and employ wisdom. Living life vicariously through other people is enough to suggest that you do not have a personal life vision for yourself. The counterfeit who lives in someone’s home, consumes electricity and food, and never contributes is the person who you will always need to take responsibility for and the person who will be a perpetual burden when you know he or she is able and capable.
The major lesson to learn about dealing with counterfeits is that they will abandon you once they find another host. They never intend to stay in relationships. Instead, their goals are to find the next space, time, and energy to consume. They need both a physical and spiritual house to conduct their non-existent business. They have dreams for which they will never pursue. They talk a really good game, but they will never back up their ideas with work ethic. They are wanderers, professional vagabonds, and skilled liars who are incapable of addressing their own faults, fraud, and distorted belief systems.
Life Recovery Objective
The best way to recover from dealing with counterfeits is to understand that they are frauds and fraudulent in their dealings with people, businesses, and organizations. Pursuit of truth is just not the standard. Truth is not even an option. Truth is antithetical to the counterfeit’s belief system, which is based on a foundation of lies and distortion.
Counterfeits show you who they are very early. Do not help them. Do not give them money. Do not give them sex. Do not give them shelter. Do not give them life in your life. Do not give to a counterfeit. It is dangerous to give your time, space, and energy to someone who is a consumer and not a contributor.
At the end of the day, life is about contribution, which is defined as what you give to yourself and what you give to others, but there are limits. Giving must come with limits. You are never expected to be everything to everybody. You must first make yourself a priority and ensure that you secure yourself mentally, emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and financially.
Wherever there are gaps in your thinking, the time to heal should take a greater priority than the time to enter a romantic relationship. You must heal from dealing with counterfeits because their distorted vision can jump into you, and you may find yourself thinking the same way they do about time, space, and energy. Therefore, preserve your time, space, and energy.
Thank you for reading.
Regina Y. Favors, Owner/Operator
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2 thoughts on “Romantic Hastiness: In Love with a Counterfeit”
This post offers a thought-provoking and insightful perspective on the negative impact that counterfeits can have on romantic relationships. The analogy of the counterfeit being like an alien being who needs a host to survive is particularly striking and effectively illustrates the parasitic nature of these types of relationships. The discussion of the financial, emotional, and psychological tolls that counterfeits take on their partners is also well-written and highlights the danger of allowing these individuals to become a part of our lives. Overall, this post serves as a valuable reminder to be mindful of the people we allow into our lives and the potential consequences of becoming involved with a counterfeit.
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Sebastian, thank you very much. “Counterfeit” is still new to me. I have been focusing on rebound relationships for the greater part of 2016 to the present, researching scholarship and developing my own argument. My understanding of the concept of “counterfeits” is fairly recent and usually when I am new to something, I like to research it and try out a writing target to see if I know what I understand. Your assessment is definitely spot on, and we do need to be careful about who we keep letting into our spaces. For now, I am in solitude and enduring the healing process. Romantic relationships can indeed be traumatic, especially with a lot of trauma bonding. That, too, is another concept I’m researching, so I have my hands full. I appreciate the comment. Thank you.
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