Welcome to Rebound Relationship Special Topics. Your road from setback to comeback begins with a pen and paper. This page explores brief topics on how to begin the process of addressing internal dialogues and external influences. You can visit the audio section of this website to listen to content.
Going back and forth becomes a habit. Think about the yes you want to give before you give it. Have faith in that yes.
Guard your experiences and activities. Some things require time and long-term work ethic. Guard the time you need for preparation and solitude.
Be proactive about information-gathering so you can make sound decisions. Interpret the answers you get from people accurately.
Care about your direction. Care about yourself to have direction. Knowing where to take yourself is key.
Have the courage to say "No." Saying no without explanation reveals growth.
Assess where you have set boundaries and where you have been successful in managing your "No." Assess also where you have given a "Yes" that might have been good and/or bad. You judge the worthiness of that "Yes" and the "No."
They do not have a moral compass. They do not have respect for instruction. They run. They do not have respect for correction.
They do not solve problems. They do not have respect for completion. They are not measured. They do not have respect for study.
They procrastinate. They do not have respect for time. They choose the easier way. They have no respect for work.
They breed indecision. They have no respect for the follow-through.
They wander diligently. They have no respect for purpose. They facilitate chaos. They have no respect for order.
They don't have anything to lose. They have no respect for life. They have no respect for your life.
Don't let in irresponsibility. A man should be able to take care of himself.
Don't let in financial laziness. A man should be able to manage his own finances.
Don't let in emotional bed hoppers. A man should be able to manage his emotions.
Don't let in lack of improvement. A man should be able to asses his strengths and weaknesses.
Don't let in disrepair. A man should be able to repair and recover on his own terms, in his own time.
Don't let in lack of planning. A man should know how to envision a future for himself.
You're parenting out of fear. You're anxious that he will leave.
You're parenting out of emotions. You're making emotional arguments to plead your case.
You're parenting out of need. You're needing companionship or extra finances.
You're parenting out of low interest. You're wanting a higher value man.
You're parenting out of irresponsibility. You're supporting a permissive behavior.
You're parenting out of stress. You're struggling to move forward.
You are irresponsible because you would rather cover him and not yourself financially, even if you are sincere and have the best intentions.
You are creating crutches when you project your beliefs, even if you are sincere and have the best intentions.
You are teaching when respect has no value, even if you are sincere and have the best intentions.
You are tired when you believe it is better to do it yourself, even if you are sincere and have the best intentions. You're out of options and feel like you can't move him.
You are stuck when the only thing that matters is convenience, even if you are sincere and have the best intentions.
You are hopeful but not strategic when you realize an exit but don't take it, even if you are sincere and have the best intentions.
This is true if you are a loner. Relationships require engagement.
This is true if you need more than one person. Relationships require courage to stay put.
This is true if you believe faithfulness is relative. Relationships require a belief system.
This is true if you're not interested in love. Relationships require movement to the next level.
This is true if you're not interested in marriage. Relationships require the courage to face truth.
This is true if you do not believe that there is a person who will reflect your mate value. Relationships require partner validation.
I'm not dating down. Right is better than right now. Cutting corners is not the answer. Conscientiousness is progress.
I'm not thriving in procrastination. Setback is too much to handle.
I'm not pulling you up without your own effort. It is important to let someone pursue their own responsibility.
I'm not entering a dating rotation. Unique is better than similar. I'm not contributing to becoming a rebound. Awareness of who I am is important. I'm not having indiscriminate sex. Solitude has significance.
I'm not lying, cheating, stealing, or gambling on me. Truth should be more important. I'm not taking you into my "house." My body belongs to me and not you.
I'm not cursing my end. Vision is important. I'm not pushing for vengeance. Eye for eye only belongs to God. I'm not going your way. I only have one life to live.
This only works if you stay out of the sex market. The sex market is for dating.
This only works if you are willing to wait. The sex market is for the hasty.
This only works if you are willing to prepare for marriage. The sex market is not for the married.
This only works if you're willing to let go. The sex market is filled with ex-partners.
This only works if you're willing to assess you. The sex market doesn't work for your personality.
This only works if you're not needy. The sex market is certain about its purpose.
This means that you must give up your sex card. Get out of the habit of short-term mating sex.
This means that you must study relationships. Get out of the habit of quitting relationships.
This means that you must challenge your beliefs about love. Get out of the habit of assuming love has no value. Consider relationship growth.
This means that you must be willing to love yourself. Get out of the habit of taking advantage of yourself.
This means that you must be willing to regulate your emotion. Get out of the habit of managing your life through anxiety. Get out of the habit of using silence.
This means that you must be willing to see a different you. Get out of the habit of seeing yourself fulfill only a role.
You don't prepare because you fail to study the current dating market and its ideologies. The current dating market is open, not monogamous, with a mixture of alternative relationships.
You don't exercise patience when you don't think beyond the minute. The current dating market is not about exercising patience. Participants in the dating market encourage hastiness.
You don't ask explicit questions when you don't want to know. Not knowing the truth about something is easier to manage than dealing with the truth itself. You can continue in "not know" and still feel good about yourself.
You don't check your sex when you don't assess your expectations. You don't check what you want out of a dating and/or casual sex relationship. You don't self-assess who you are today.
You don't assess your past habits when you don't resolve past failures. You don't ask yourself about the progress and/or failure of past romantic relationships. Failure breeds more failure because of ignorance.
You don't let go when you don't exit ex-partners. You permit ex-partners in your current relationships or in your current lifestyle regardless of if they are toxic and unproductive. You hold on.
Relationships fail because goals are not clear. They fail because purpose has not been established.
Relationships fail because goals are not fixed. They fail because of mindset. Some people have a fixed mindset about relationships. They are not willing to adopt a growth mindset.
Relationships fails because goals are not long-term. They fail because of issues with expectation and assumptions.
Relationships fail because goals are not realistic. They fail because of laziness. People are unwilling to do the work. They don't know that creating, managing, and maintaining a relationship takes work.
Relationships fail because goals are not identity-based. They fail because of the masks people wear.
Relationships fail because goals are not strategic. They fail because they are at-will.
Relationship failure happens when goals and outcomes are different; when needs are not met by either party; and when infidelity leads to relationship termination. Mate preference affects willingness to stay or exit.
You lack the tools of exit. You haven't realized that the relationship died a long time ago. The relationship has been in the past for a long time, and you're still waiting for it return. You haven't left the relationship.
You lack the tools of grief. The relationship died without you and your partner grieving the process. The five stages of grief are: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. It is likely that you did not work through these processes.
You lack the tools of follow-through. The relationship died without resolution.
You lack the tools of foresight. The relationship died because of lack of agency and initiative.
You lack the tools of knowledge. The relationship died because of ignorance.
"If he can cheat, then so can I." This means that a person is okay with cutting corners.
"If he can stay out all night, then so can I." This means that you're okay with not getting any rest. This also means that you're not original.
"If he can spend time with his friends, then so can I." This means that you're not a priority..
"If he can buy new stuff, then so can I." This means that you're budgeting under a false premise.
"If he can play this game, then so can I." This means that you're playing a game for which you have not mastered.
"If he won't come home, then I'm not either." This means that you're changing your nature.
When you meet your snake, you usually make the first move. You walk up to him. You make a move before you understand.
When you meet your snake, you're usually steering the relationship. You are the one putting in all the effort.
When you meet your snake, you're facilitating chaos. You are putting up with old girlfriends and new love interests.
When you meet your snake, you're usually risking your own health and sanity. You are trying to balance lies.
When you meet your snake, you're recognizing the crossroad moment. You are struggling with leaving.
When you meet your snake, you're deciding to stay or leave or keep options open.
Truth doesn't matter anymore.
Truth is negotiable.
Truth has its challenges.
Truth becomes inconvenient.
Truth is abandoned.
False has no consequences.
You will ride and die in ignorance. You will use the "not know" to stay.
You will ride and die with incompetence. You live with a person who refuses progress.
You will ride and die with disrespect. You cultivate the belief system.
You will ride and die with mediocrity. You fail to develop yourself.
You will ride and die with a fixed mindset. You avoid challenges and risks.
You will ride and die with a person who loves crutches. You are the crutch.
Men will pursue entertainment. Men will cultivate backup partners.
Men will pursue productivity. Cheating becomes the new productivity.
Men will pursue the lie. Men will silence themselves.
Men will pout. Men will become feminine.
Men will gaslight. Men will exchange the truth for the lie.
Men will encourage the belief system. Cheating becomes the standard.
Don't be so quick to pursue a gap filler. The body needs rest.
Don't be so quick to plead your case. The heart needs rest.
Don't be so quick to make promises. The soul needs rest.
Don't be so quick to spend money. The finances need rest.
Don't be so quick to attach to status quo. The belief system needs rest.
Don't be so quick to pursue a hasty option. Your decision-making needs rest.
Be quicker to write. The pain needs an outlet.
Be quicker to assess the setback. The pain needs examination.
Be quicker to recognize your patterns. The pain needs to criticize the rhythms.
Be quicker to plan for the future. The pain needs a vision, a picture of going forward.
Be quicker to pursue thrive. The pain needs resolution.
Be quicker to come back. The pain needs a historical reference.