Welcome to the Understanding Relationship Failure audio lecture series. These are the first set of audios. Last update: January 6, 2021
Understanding Relationship Failure: How Relationships Should Work, Part I (Preparation Matters) offers insight into the biblical understanding of marriage and how it is usually the man who finds the woman and not necessarily the woman who finds the man. This discussion is brief but directional.
Understanding Relationship Failure: How Relationships Should Work, Part II (Preparation Matters) provides insight into the psychology research on the topic of rebound relationships, toxic relationships, relationship infidelity, and mate value, mate switching, and mate retention. It is a setup for the reasons discussed under the series.
Understanding Relationship Failure: The Role of Self-Assessment, Part III (Preparation Matters) provides insight into the psychology of moving forward by conducting a self-assessment. It arguably should be the last part of this series, but it is also important to think about the concept of self-assessment as you review the reasons. It serves as a setup and followup for the reasons discussed under the series.
Understanding Relationship Failure: Hastiness Matters (Reason #1) provides insight into how zeal contributes to hasty decision-making, particularly how it serves as a vehicle for entry into rebound relationships. The person who marries someone else might do so out of hastiness.
Understanding Relationship Failure: Rebound Matters (Reason #2) provides insight into the idea that the person who has married someone else is typically on the rebound while he or she is on a break with their romantic partner. The person might marry someone else or the relationship fails simply because he or she is already committed.
Understanding Relationship Failure: Goal Matters (Reason #3) provides insight into how people choose romantic relationships based upon a performance goal orientation (PGO), which is also discussed in-depth under Reason #9: Procrastination Matters. Under Reason #3, when the relationship fails, it might be that the person is sexually motivated than relationship motivated. The person cares more about looking like he or she is in a relationship versus being in a relationship.
Understanding Relationship Failure: Mate Switching Matters (Reason #4) provides insight into the idea that even though a person might marry you, he or she is not always ready for the commitment. This means that the person might pursue mate switching as a counterargument (i.e., counter-goal). Mate switching is also a reason why relationships fail.
Understanding Relationship Failure: Choice Matters (Reason #5) provides insight into a person’s preference for selfishness. Some people know to do right in relationships but will refuse to commit to doing right. Selfishness is one of those reasons why relationships fail.